I compare my story to others daily.
The verdict? I’m behind in life.
I’ve been married almost 7 years and I should have at least two kids by now according to my Facebook news-feed.
I should be out of college debt but I couldn’t stay faithful to my buddy, Dave. Sorry Dave for my love affair with Chipotle.
I apparently should have packed up & moved to Montreal according to Buzzfeed because I deserve cheap rent & to live in a city that smells like hipsters.
It is as if I am on a measuring scale and my side is needing to catch up and drop a pound of guilt & comparison.
I weigh my empty arms to a mother of three & see firsthand that empty arms weigh the heaviest.
I estimate my level of significance by the amount of likes I rack up on an Instagram post or the amount of RT I receive from my writings. But, in reality I am just searching for another soul to look me in the eye & say, "Yeah, me too."
_ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
I’m throwing away my measuring scales, friends. I’m done.
I’m going to have a burning session – sure, why not. I’m already crazy enough. I’ll write on strips of paper that say all the things I feel like I’m behind in and toss them into a fire as if to say – we aren’t in a relationship anymore. I’m going to dance a tribal dance around the fire that would have made Kevin Costner ask me to be his leading lady in Dances with Wolves. I’ll shout things. Things I hope many can’t hear especially my neighbors. (Because we love you. Please, stay.)
I’m throwing in the towel to compare my significance to another. I’m done with even feeling less of a person because of someone’s excessive talents or successes. Especially if I feel I have that talent. Especially then.
But in my moment of tribal dancing & throwing stones at myself for being so foolish, He asks me to get my measuring scale back out.
I read His word & see I have been measuring the wrong things. I’ve been on the wrong side of the equation.
His glory weighs more.
His glory weighs more than my pain.
His glory weighs more than my circumstances.
The moments I feel like my life is on stand still & I’m not where I should be. It is just a moment for His glory to enter my life in a new way.
This suffering we are enduring… hold on, it has ramifications of bulks of glory.
His story will be told through our losses.
His love will be shown through our weakness.
His goodness will be shown through our tragedies.
His purpose will be shown through our damaged dreams.
And His glory will outweigh my struggle.
Are you deep in the heaviness of pain, loss, or tragedy?
It’s not the end. Hold on, glory is coming. He is coming. And when we feel like we are years behind and held down by circumstances we never asked for or thought we would be in:
Measure this: The sufferings we endure now are not even worth comparing to the glory that is coming.
Give Him time to stack up doses of love, purpose, & wisdom in your situation.
I have to believe He is the author of my story.
I have to believe He will not bring me this far to leave me.
And when my story gets weighed down by bad news - news that I can’t change or fix – in just a moment He will come in with a bundle of glory.
Today doesn’t look very glorious, but I know soon His purpose will outweigh my pain.
So, maybe I won’t dance that tribal dance with Costner. And maybe I won’t throw away all my measuring tools. But, I will just look at my stack of pain, disappointment, & loss, and think:
Dang, there’s a whole lot of glory coming.